You Know You've Reached Middle Age When

The Firm Is Really Ahead Of The Times. It Has A Stock Market Ticker That Prints Its Report On Thin Aspirins.

If They Liked You, They Didn't Applaud -- They Let You Live.

I'd Give Up Golf If I Didn't Have So Many Sweaters.

A Photographer Kept Shooting Me Every Time I Swung. I Was Very Flattered Until I Found Out He Was From Field And Stream.

In England When You Make A Movie Even The Weather Is Against You. In Hollywood The Weatherman Gets A Shooting Schedule From All The Major Studios And Then Figures Out Where He Can Fit In A Little Rain Without Upsetting Metro-goldwyn-mayer Too Much.