You Know You're Getting Old When You

But You Do Have To Learn, If You Want To Be A Satirist, You Can't Be Part Of The Party. Meaning, You Can't Go Horseback Riding With Jackie O In Central Park If You're Going To Make A Joke About Her That Night.

I've Learned From Doing My Own Show With Fox That People Are Not Your Partners If They're Signing The Checks. Whoever Signs Your Paycheck Is The Boss - No Matter What They Tell You.

I'll Lie Still For A Lot Of Things - But Sex Isn't One Of Them.

I'm No Cook. When I Want Lemon On Chicken, I Spray It With Pledge.

I Once Dated A Guy So Dumb He Could Not Count To 21 Unless He Was Naked