You Have To Do More Than Just

Both Of My Parents Got To See Me Host Carson, Thank God. That's All Anyone Wants: To Have Their Parents See They're Going To Be All Right In Life.

You Know You're Getting Old When Work Is A Lot Less Fun And Fun Is A Lot More Work.

Never Buy A Fur From A Vegetarian.

The Psychic Scars Caused By Believing That You Are Ugly Leave A Permanent Mark On Your Personality.

My Breasts Are So Low, Now I Can Have A Mammogram And A Pedicure At The Same Time.