You Have Many Fine Qualities That I

If The Real World Were A Book, It Would Never Find A Publisher. Overlong, Detailed To The Point Of Distraction-and Ultimately, Without A Major Resolution.

Mr. Mcgregor's A Nasty Piece Of Work, Isn't He? Quite The Darth Vader Of Children's Literature.

I Also Read About Heathcliff's Unexpected Three-year Career In Hollywood Under The Name Buck Stallion And His Eventual Return To The Pages Of Wuthering Heights.

She Wasn't The Only One To Be Physically Morphed By Reader Expectation. Miss Havisham Was Now Elderly Whether She Liked It Or Not, And Sherlock Holmes Wore A Deerstalker And Smoked A Ridiculously Large Pipe. The Problem Wasn't Just Confined To The Classics. Harry Potter Was Seriously Pissed Off That He'd Have To Spend The Rest Of Life Looking Like Daniel Radcliffe.

Don't Move," Said Sprockett."mimes Don't Generally Attack Unless They Are Threatened.