Yes, I'm Married. But My Wife Understands

I Just Think It's Sad That The Main Places In Our Culture That We Designate To Meet New People Are Bars And Nightclubs.

Zerts' Are What I Call Desserts. 'trée-trées' Are Entrées. I Call Sandwiches 'sammies,' 'sandoozles,' Or 'adam Sandlers.' Air Conditioners Are 'cool Blasterz' With A 'z' - I Don't Know Where That Came From. I Call Cakes 'big Ol' Cookies.' I Call Noodles 'long-ass Rice.' Fried Chicken Is 'fry-fry Chicky-chick.' Chicken Parm Is 'chicky-chicky-parm-parm.' Chicken Cacciatore? 'chicky-cacc.' I Call Eggs 'pre-birds,' Or 'future Birds.' Root Beer Is 'super Water.' Tortillas Are 'bean Blankets.' And I Call Forks 'food Rakes.'

No One's Trying To Get With Jugglers.

Yeah, I've Been A Little Down. Totally Natural. I'm Getting A Divorce, But Now I'm Ready To Pull Myself Up By Some G-strings.

My Dad Grew Up Basically In A Hut In Taiwan Without Enough Food To Eat. And Within One Generation His Son In America Gets To Do A Comedy Show About Whatever He Wants.