As I Always Have With Stand-up Or

I Like Going Out And I Like Being Single, But A Growing Part Of Me Would Rather Just Stay Home, Cook Food With Someone I Really Like, And Do Nothing.

Zerts' Are What I Call Desserts. 'trée-trées' Are Entrées. I Call Sandwiches 'sammies,' 'sandoozles,' Or 'adam Sandlers.' Air Conditioners Are 'cool Blasterz' With A 'z' - I Don't Know Where That Came From. I Call Cakes 'big Ol' Cookies.' I Call Noodles 'long-ass Rice.' Fried Chicken Is 'fry-fry Chicky-chick.' Chicken Parm Is 'chicky-chicky-parm-parm.' Chicken Cacciatore? 'chicky-cacc.' I Call Eggs 'pre-birds,' Or 'future Birds.' Root Beer Is 'super Water.' Tortillas Are 'bean Blankets.' And I Call Forks 'food Rakes.'

I'm Like An Elephant, Ok? If I Walk Into A Room, It's Like, Ok, He's In There.

Comedians Don't Have Hits. You Have To Have A Whole Brand-new Hour. You Have No Hits To Rely On.

I Was Surprised To Learn That Research Showed Arranged Couples Tended To Be Happier In The Long Run.