Women Are Like Parking Spots, The Best

You Don't Need An Alarm Clock When You Sleep With 20 Models A Night, One Of Those Broads'll Figure Out That They Better Make Breakfast In Bed Or I'll Kill All Of Them.

Everyone Has A Warped Vision Of Hollywood And What Success In Hollywood Is Like.

It Blows My Mind That There Are People Out There Who Deny The Holocaust. Why Would You Ever Deny Such A Great Achievement. It's Like Denying The Cure For Polio Or Something.

It's... It's Such A Weird Thing. After Garden State, So Many Companies Wanted To Make My Movies, And After The Last Kiss, I Realized People Would Make Anything I Was In. As Long As I Keep This Up I'll Be Swimming In Chubby Indie Girl Pussy.

The Greatest Charity You Can Contribute To Is Yourself. Instead Of Spending A Dollar To Help Feed Hungry Children, Why Not Spend That Dollar On Hair Gel So You Can Get The Perfect Cowlick?