Whenever I Try To Spell 'banana,' I

Jumping Jacks Are Easier To Do Than Crawling Jacks.

Palindromes Are The Number One Conversation Stopper, Like Party Killer, I Think I've Ever Seen.

The Definition Of Adventure Depends Upon How Boring Your Life Is.

When I Was Younger, I'd Get Very Empirical With Myself. "i Have A Hypothesis About Myself. I'll Put Myself In A Situation, See What Happens, Then I'll Draw A Conclusion Based On The Empirical Evidence. Hypothesis: I Can Play Basketball." So I'd Try. "conclusion: I Cannot Play Basketball."

Sometimes If I Really Want To Get Someone's Attention, I'll Start A Sentence With Something Like, "i'm Not Racist, But..." I Say, "i'm Not Racist, But You Look Great Today." They Say, "that Wasn't Racist At All." I Said, "i Know. I Said I'm Not Racist. You Never Listen. Typical Mexican."