When You Are Waiting For The Bus

,000 People In Hampden Park. Of Course They're All Scottish. Because No One Else Goes There. The English Have An Unwritten Rule: They Only Go To Places They Might Get Back From.

There's Nothing Better Than A Fight, Especially When You're Watching It From A Safe Place. You Can Yell Encouragement! Hit Him With The Left, He's A Big Jessie!

I Set Out To Be A Cross Between Lenny Bruce And Robert The Bruce - My Main Thrust Was The Body And Its Functions And Malfunctions - The Absurdity Of The Thing.

On George W Bush: That Man Sits At That Desk In The White House With The Button That Can End The World. My Father's Younger Than Him And We Don't Give Him The Controls For The Television.

Scotland Has The Only Football Team In The World That Does A Lap Of Disgrace.