When I Played In The Sandbox, The

I Joined Gamblers Anon., They Gave Me 2 To 1 I Wouldn't Make It! I Joined Aa, There Was A Two Drink Minimum!

My Wife Has To Be The Worst Cook. I've Got The Only Dog Who Begs For Alka-seltzer.

At My Age I'm Envious Of A Stiff Wind.

Guy Goes Into A Bar With A Duck Under His Arm. Bartender Says, "where'd You Get The Pig?" Guy Says, "this Is A Duck." Bartender Says, "i Was Talking To The Duck."

If It Wasn't For Pick-pockets I'd Have No Sex Life At All.