When I Did The Sitcom I Was

It Seems Like Movies That Have Heart To Them Always Do Well, And They Find Their Audience.

Women In Bed Are Like Diesel Engines. What I Mean By That Is, It May Take Them A While To Get Going, But When You Do, They Can Go For A Long, Long Time. Whereas Men Are Like... Bottle Rockets.

You Know, I Remember Career Day In High School. I Remember Plumbers And Lawyers... I Don't Remember A Booth Where You Could Sign Up To Learn How To Shoot Chickens Out Of A Cannon At The Windshield Of An Airplane, 'cause There Would Have Been A Line At My School To Do That!

You Might Be A Redneck If You Need One More Hole Punched In Your Card To Get A Freebie At The House Of Tattoos.

As A Comedian I Appreciate Every Kind Of Comedy. You Decide For Yourself What You're Going To Do.