Trust Ivrybody-but Cut Th' Cards.

Even An Englishman Was Niver Improved By Bein' Blown Up.

It Is More Comfortable To Feel That We Are A Slight Improvement On A Monkey Than Such A Fallin' Off From The Angels.

Politics Ain't Beanbag: 'tis A Man's Game, And Women, Children 'n' Pro-hy-bitionists Had Best Stay Out Of It.

When 'tis An Aven Thing In Th' Prayin', May Th' Best Man Win ... An' Th' Best Man Will Win.

Th' Newspaper Does Ivrything F'r Us. It Runs Th' Polis Foorce An' Th' Banks, Commands Th' Milishy, Controls Th' Ligislachure, Baptizes Th' Young, Marries Th' Foolish, Comforts Th' Afflicted, Afflicts Th' Comfortable, Buries Th' Dead An' Roasts Thim Aftherward.