Tom Ridge Now Says We Don't Have

It's Not A Big Part, ... I Wheel In An Ultrasound Machine And Say To Taylor's Gynecologist, 'if You Have A Problem With It, Just Give It A Light Tap On The Side.' Then They Hand Me A Urine Sample, And I Put It Up To The Light And Say 'hmm, Looks Pretty Healthy, But I'll Check.'

Democrats Were Quick To Point Out That President Bush's Budget Creates A 1 Trillion Dollar Deficit. The White House Quickly Responded With 'hey, Look Over There, It's Saddam Hussein.'

Declassified Papers Report That John Kennedy Was Taking Eight Different Medications A Day. He Was So Wasted, His Secret Service Code Name Was Ted Kennedy.

Strange Medical News From Pakistan: A Man Had A Successful Organ Transplant With A Dog. They Gave The Man A Dog's Organ. In A Related Story Today, Keith Richards Was Seen Chasing A Mailman.

Senator Hillary Clinton Is Attacking President Bush For Breaking His Campaign Promise To Cut Carbon Dioxide Emissions, Saying A Promise Made, A Promise Broken. And Then Out Of Habit, She Demanded That Bush Spend The Night On The Couch.