Today, President Obama Finally Met With Bp's

A Major Iowa Newspaper Published An Op-ed Against Trump Calling Him A 'self-absorbed, Wholly Unqualified Feckless Blowhard.' Or As Trump Put It, 'you Forgot Very Rich ... I'm A Very Rich, Self-absorbed, Wholly Unqualified Feckless Blowhard. Very, Very Rich.'

I Haven't Been On A Date In Awhile. I Went On Maybe Two Dates In My Whole Life.

As You Can Imagine, With Hillary Clinton Being Here, Security Is Very Tight. The Secret Service Has Been Here All Day Sweeping The Halls, The Offices, The Hard Drives... It's Tight.

I Saw That On Small Business Saturday, The President Went Shopping At A Bookstore And Bought 17 Books, Including "the Laughing Monsters," "being Mortal," And "heart Of Darkness." Or As The Cashier Put It, "you Ok, Man? Maybe A Little 'chicken Soup For The Presidential Soul?'

Democrats Have Been Doing Everything They Can To Get Young People And College Students To Vote In The Midterms. Though If You Want Students To Participate In Something, Maybe You Shouldn't Call Them Midterms.