I Haven't Been On A Date In

President Obama Had Beer With Four Unemployed Construction Workers. And Obama Asked The Guys What Was It Like To Lose Their Jobs, And They Were Like, 'oh, You'll See.'

Rick Perry Said Donald Trump Is Unfit To Be President And Called For Him To Immediately Withdraw From The Race. Then He Said, 'and That's Coming From Me!'

We Picked The Red Sox Because They Lose. If You Root For Something That Loses For 86 Years, You're A Pretty Good Fan. You Don't Have To Win Everything To Be A Fan Of Something.

Barnes & Noble Ceo William Lynch Just Announced That He Is Stepping Down After Three Years. When Asked If He's Looking For A New Job, He Was Like, 'nah, Just Browsing.'

Yesterday, The Supreme Court Spent Over An Hour Listening To Arguments On Whether Obamacare Is Unconstitutional. Yeah, Listening To Arguments About Obamacare For An Hour, Or As Most People Call That, 'thanksgiving Dinner.'