We Picked The Red Sox Because They

As You Can Imagine, With Hillary Clinton Being Here, Security Is Very Tight. The Secret Service Has Been Here All Day Sweeping The Halls, The Offices, The Hard Drives... It's Tight.

Over On The Democratic Side, Martin O'malley Recently Spoke About The Need For Wall Street Reform And Said That He Isn't Running For President To Be Quote, 'wined And Dined' By Executives. Then Chris Christie Said, 'and I Am Also Not Running To Be Wined.'

People Ask Me, Jimmy, Howd You Get Here Tonight. Lets Just Say It Involved A Two-hour Make-out Session With Elaine Stritch. It Got Pretty Heavy Actually, I Almost Had To Host.

After A Six-year Battle, The Senate Will Vote Next Week To Begin Construction On The Keystone Xl Pipeline, Which Is An Oil Pipeline That Runs From Canada To The Gulf Coast. They're Hoping The Pipeline Will Provide Enough Oil To Cover Kim Kardashian's Next Photo Shoot.

Shepard Fairey, The Street Artist Responsible For President Obama's 'hope' Poster, Is Now Facing Vandalism Charges In Detroit. It's Pretty Serious. Detroit Officials Say The Artist's Spray Paint Caused Over $9,000 Worth Of Improvements.