There Should Be A Law That You

I Had More Material On Weather Than Anyone Else, I Guess, ... Back When I Was Traveling A Lot On The Road As A Standup Comic, Between Airport Security And The Weather... I Just Wanted To Be Prepared For Sitting In The Airport.

Mtv Is To Music As Kfc Is To Chicken!

The Reason I Like Socialism Is That It's Kind Of Enforced Christianity. It's Basically Very Christian, In The Sense Of "do Unto Others As You Would Have Them Do Unto You." These People Have Nothing, So You Have To Share.

All The Candy Corn That Was Ever Made Was Made In 1911.

If I Get A Week Off, I'll Go To A Hotel That Has A Golf Course. I Like To Come Downstairs And Go Right Onto The Course. I'll Do That Five Days In A Row.