There Is Not A Man In America

A Comic Should Suffer As Much Over A Single Line As A Man With A Hernia Would In Picking Up A Heavy Barbell.

In The Ten Years Since I Had Run Away From Home...i Had Gone Through More Strange Experiences Than The Average Person Crowds Into A Whole Lifetime.

Money Will Not Buy Happiness, But It Will Let You Be Unhappy In Nice Places.

I Was In Love With A Beautiful Blonde Once. She Drove Me To Drink. That's The One Thing I'm Indebted To Her For.

It's What You Do That Counts And Not What You Say; Therefore I Fired My Press Agent.