Money Will Not Buy Happiness, But It

All Englishmen Talk As If They've Got A Bushel Of Plums Stuck In Their Throats, And Then After Swallowing Them Get Constipated From The Pips.

Trust Everybody, But Cut The Cards Yourself.

Remember, Lady Godiva Put All She Had On A Horse And She Lost Her Shirt!

I Have A Poor Memory For Names; But I Seldom Remember A Face.

Christmas At My House Is Always At Least Six Or Seven Times More Pleasant Than Anywhere Else. We Start Drinking Early. And While Everyone Else Is Seeing Only One Santa Claus, We'll Be Seeing Six Or Seven.