The U.s. Senate Is Considering A Bill

I Think When You Become A Parent You Go From Being A Star In The Movie Of Your Own Life To The Supporting Player In The Movie Of Someone Else's.

Appear Tougher Or Cooler Or Funnier Than You Feel And There Is A Chance You'll Make It.

Here's A Tip For All You Aspiring Young Comics: Don't Beat Up The Customers. It Is Very Difficult To Get Laughs From An Audience When You've Actually Drawn Blood From One Of Their Number. It Kills The Mood.

Wait! Don't Applaud My Cheapness! I've Got Other Crap I Need Help With!

If You Watch Cooking Shows On Cable, They Have Lots Of British People. Because When You Think Good Cooking, You Immediately Think Britain.