Here's A Tip For All You Aspiring

If You Don't Vote, You're A Moron.

I Became A Terrible Drunk Or Alcoholic - Or A Good One Depending On Your Point Of View.

In The Past I've Been Hard On The Vegans. I've Called Them Prius-driving Fascists, But Now I Am One Of Them. I Have Been Turned To The Dark Side.

There Are Times When You See The News, And You Go, "how The Hell Am I Meant To Do Anything Tonight?" I'm Not Good At Compartmentalizing Myself And Not Being Affected By The World Around Me, So It Was Very Difficult For Me When Atrocious News Stories Would Pop Up. And I Would Think, "how The Hell Am I Supposed To Talk To The Skeleton About The Horse Tonight?"

I'm Gonna Enjoy Being Old I Think I'll Be Awesome At It.