The Things That Matter Most Are Not

Americans Are Just Beginning To Regard Food The Way The French Always Have. Dinner Is Not What You Do In The Evening Before Something Else. Dinner Is The Evening.

People Are Broad-minded. They'll Accept The Fact That A Person Can Be An Alcoholic, A Dope Fiend, A Wife Beater And Even A Newspaperman, But If A Man Does Not Drive, There Is Something Wrong With Him.

While My Friends Were Discussing Pearl Harbor As The Country's Problem, I Took It Personally. It Dawned On Me That The Japanese Attack Could Be My Ticket Out Of High School.

The Reason I Don't Play Golf Is Because I Was A Caddie When I Was 13. Women Never Gave Up A Golf Ball That Was Lost Somewhere In The Trees And Thicket And Down Through The Poison Ivy. It Was During One Of These Searches That I Vowed To The Lord Above That If I Ever Earned Enough Money I Would Never Set Foot On A Course Again.

I'm Working When I'm Fighting With My Wife. I Constantly Ask Myself-how Can I Use This Stuff To Literary Advantage.