The Pleasure Of The Mulch Pile Is

I've Decided That Perhaps I'm Bulimic And Just Keep Forgetting To Purge.

My Mom Said She Learned How To Swim When Someone Took Her Out In The Lake And Threw Her Off The Boat. I Said, 'mom, They Weren't Trying To Teach You How To Swim.'

I Get In Fewer Arguments When I'm Alone.

I Have Jokes I've Told Before And Will Tell Again, But My Favorite Part Of The Night Is Talking To The Crowd.

I’m An Atheist. The Good News About Atheists Is That We Have No Mandate To Convert Anyone. So You’ll Never Find Me On Your Doorstep On A Saturday Morning With A Big Smile Saying ‘just Stopped By To Tell You There Is No Word. I Brought Along This Little Blank Book I Was Hoping You Could Take A Look At.’