I Have Jokes I've Told Before And

When Every High School Graduate Can Spell The Word, 'inauguration,' Let's Put Lampshades On Our Heads And Listen To His Speeches Until Obama's Voice Gives Out.

Can You Remember When You Didn't Want To Sleep? Isn't It Inconceivable? I Guess The Definition Of Adulthood Is That You Want To Sleep.

I Love Key Lime Pie, Although It's Never Made The Proper Way.

My Act Is Sort Of Improvisational. I Have A Skeleton In My Head, But No Fat Or Skin On It.

I Was Court-ordered To Alcoholics Anonymous On Television. Pretty Much Blows The Hell Out Of The Second A, Wouldn't You Say?