The Most Out-there Thing I’m Saying Is,

We Had No Religion At All, But We Were Jews In New Hampshire, And My Sister - Who Is Now A Rabbi - Said It Best: We Were, Like, The Only Jews In Bedford, New Hampshire, As Well As The Only Democrats, So We Just Kind Of Associated Those Two Things Together. My Dad Raised Us To Believe That Paying Taxes Is An Honor.

Self-esteem Is The Goddamn Root Of All Evil.

I'm Funnier Now Because I'm Braver And Less Full Of Hate, So Everything Is Even More Ridiculous Than It Was Before.

Nobody Wanted The "roseanne" Show. I Heard From Agents That There Was No Interest In A Show About A Fat Woman And Her Family.

Illiteracy Is A Huge Problem In America. One In Three Adults In Our Country Is Illiterate.