The Greatest Thing About Having A Child

How Do Women Still Go Out With Guys, When You Consider The Fact That There Is No Greater Threat To Women Than Men? We're The Number One Threat To Women. Globally And Historically, We're The Number One Cause Of Injury And Mayhem To Women... You Know What Our Number One Threat Is? Heart Disease.

My Ex-wife, She Really Didn't Like The Material That I Did. And That's Something I Regret, That I Wasn't More Careful About Making Sure That She Was O.k. With It. I Just Sort Of Didn't Ask. So That's How That Goes.

When I Got Divorced, I Thought 'well, There Goes My Act.'

Bill Gates Has 90 Billion Dollars ... If I Had 90 Billion Dollars, I Wouldn't Have It For Long Because I Would Just Dream Of All The Crazy Stuff I Could Do With It. This Guy, 90 Billion Dollars. He Could Buy Every Baseball Team And Make Them All Wear Dresses And Still Have 88 Billion Dollars.

I Spend Enough Time Onscreen Looking Hangdog And Depressed.