The Greatest Jewish Tradition Is To Laugh.

There's A Tremendous Power And Energy In Sharing Your Life With Another Person.

Comedy Is Just Complaining In An Entertaining Way, Enterplaining.

Why Is Mcdonalds Still Counting? How Insecure Is This Company? 40 Million, 80 Billion Million Jillion Killion Tillion... Who Cares? Is Anyone Really Impressed By That Any More? Ooh, 89 Billion Sold? All Right, I'll Have One! I'm Satisfied! I'd Like To Tell The Ceo Of Mcdonalds, "look. We All Get It, Okay? You've Sold A Lot Of Hamburgers. Whatever The Number Is, Just Put Up A Sign, 'mcdonalds: We're Doing Very Well.' We Are Tired Of Hearing About Every Goddamn One Of Them."

I Love Meeting Israeli People. They Look At Me Like A Son

The Human Body Is Like A Condominium. The Thing That Keeps You From Really Enjoying It Is The Maintenance.