The Human Body Is Like A Condominium.

I Didn't Know Every Day I Would Be Discussing The Tone Of My Voice With My Wife. I Thought It Was A Marriage. Apparently, It's A Musical.

I Admire The Hell Out Of Her. You Can't Have Sex With Someone You Admire.

Sometimes I Think More Creativity Is Put Into Muffin Recipes Than Into The Rest Of Society Combined.

I'll Tell You What I Like About Chinese People: They're Hanging In There With The Chop Sticks, Aren't They? You Know They've Seen The Fork. They're Staying With The Sticks.

I Know There Are Kids Out There, I Want To Make Sure They All Know That Driving Without Braking Is Not Something I Recommend, Unless You Have Professional Clown Training Or A Comedy Background, As I Do. It Is Not Something I Plan To Make A Habit.