The Glass Is Always Half Empty. All

Dogs Are Easier To Love Than People; They're Certainly More Dependable. Once They Love You, That's It. A True Friend In Life Is A Dog.

Life Goes By Fast. Enjoy It. Calm Down. It's All Funny.

Girls Just Want To Have Fun. Well, So Do Old Ladies!

Mick Jagger Could French-kiss A Moose. He Has Child-bearing Lips.

The People Voting For The Oscars Are So Old. I Haven't Seen One Academy Award Voter With A Tampon In Her Purse.