Girls Just Want To Have Fun. Well,

I Have A Million Dollar Figure ... But It's All Loose Change.

The Worst Thing That Ever Happened To Me On Stage Is Someone Ran Forward To Tell Me They Loved Me And Projectile Vomited All Over The Stage. It Was Horrible.

I Was So Ugly That My Parents Sent My Picture To 'ripley's Believe It Or Not' - They Sent It Back And Said, "we Don't Believe It."

Marriage Isn't A Contest To See Who Is Most Often Right. Marriage Requires Being What The Japanese Call 'the Wise Bamboo,' Which Means You Bend So You Don't Break. Treat Your Spouse With The Flexibility And Respect You Would Give To A Top Client. Think How We Treat Clients; We Smile, We Are Polite, We Listen To Their Ideas. Never Forget That Your Spouse Is Your Most Important Client.

There Is Nothing Funny About Aging: It Is Rotten And Depressing. Anyone Who Tells You Otherwise Just Hasn't Been Paying Attention.