The Closest I Ever Came To A

Don't Try To Teach Men How To Do Anything In Public. They Can Learn In Private; In Public They Have To Know.

I Suffer From Peroxide Phobia. Every Time I've Gotten Near A Blond Woman, Something Of Mine Has Disappeared. Jobs, Boyfriends... One Time An Angora Sweater Leaped Right Off My Body.

Eye Contact Is A Method Utilised By A Single Woman To Communicate To A Man That She Is Interested In Him. Many Women Find It Difficult To Look A Man Directly In The Eyes, Not Because Of Shyness, But Because A Woman's Eyes Are Not Located In Her Chest.

Never Take Candy From Strangers.

Marrying A Divorced Man Is Ecologically Responsible; In A World Where There Are More Women Than Men, It Pays To Recycle.