Never Take Candy From Strangers.

Commitment Is Different In Males And Females. In Females It Is A Desire To Get Married And Raise A Family. In Males It Means Not Picking Up Other Women While Out With One's Girlfriend.

Someday I Want To Be Rich. Some People Get So Rich They Lose All Respect For Humanity. That's How Rich I Want To Be.

When Men Break Up They Want To Remain Friends. Why? Why Can't They Just Get Lost?

When A Woman Tries On Clothing From Her Closet That Feels Tight, She Will Assume She Has Gained Weight. When A Man Tries Something From His Closet That Feels Tight, He Will Assume The Clothing Has Shrunk.

I Have Been Doing Leg Lifts Faithfully For About Fifteen Years, And The Only Thing That Has Gotten Thinner Is The Carpet Where I Have Been Doing The Leg Lifts.