Scotch Needs Water Like A Fish Needs

When Doctors And Undertakers Meet, They Wink At Each Other.

Back In My Rummy Days, I Would Tremble And Shake For Hours Upon Arising. It Was The Only Exercise I Got.

There Are Only Two Real Ways To Get Ahead Today - Sell Liquor Or Drink It.

Money Will Not Buy Happiness, But It Will Let You Be Unhappy In Nice Places.

My Illness Is Due To My Doctor's Insistence That I Drink Milk, A Whitish Fluid They Force Down Helpless Babies.