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Anyone Can Read The News To You. I Promise To Feel The News At You.

If Someone Does Offer You A Job, Say 'yes.' You Can Always Quit Later. Then At Least You'll Be One Of The Unemployed As Opposed To One Of The Never-employed. Nothing Looks Worse On A Resume Than Nothing.

It's The Way Our Founding Fathers Would Have Wanted It, If They Had Founded Corporations Instead Of Just A Country.

I Know There Are Some Polls Out There Saying This Man Has A 32% Approval Rating. But Guys Like Us, We Don't Pay Attention To The Polls. We Know That Polls Are Just A Collection Of Statistics That Reflect What People Are Thinking In Reality. And Reality Has A Well-known Liberal Bias.

Status Is Always Ripe For Satire, Status Is Always Good For Comedy.