Professional Comedians, Surprisingly, Have A Lack Of

There's A Danger Our Fiscal Bankruptcy Might Overtake Our Moral Bankruptcy.

Bush Is The Face On The Can. But Who Canned That Soup?

Liberals Feel Unworthy Of Their Possessions. Conservatives Feel They Deserve Everything They've Stolen.

Will Rogers…used To Come Out With A Newspaper And Pretend He Was A Yokel Criticizing The Intellectuals Who Ran The Government. I Come Out With A Newspaper And Pretend I’m An Intellectual Making Fun Of The Yokels Running The Government.

In The Forties, To Get A Girl You Had To Be A Gi Or A Jock. In The Fifties, To Get A Girl You Had To Be Jewish. In The Sixties, To Get A Girl You Had To Be Black. In The Seventies, To Get A Girl You've Got To Be A Girl.