People Who Fail, Excel At Avoiding Opportunity.

The Reason Why You Know More Funny Dudes Than Funny Chicks Is That Dudes Are Funnier Than Chicks. If My Daughter Has A Mediocre Sense Of Humor, I'm Just Gonna Tell Her, "be A Staff Writer For A Sitcom. Because They'll Have To Hire You, They Can't Really Fire You, And You Don't Have To Produce That Much. It'll Be Awesome."

Screw Guilt -- I Could Have Sex With 10 Men And It Wouldn't Bother Me. I'm An Atheist!

I'm Not Sexist, I'm Just A Realist.

He Doesn't Sound Like A Guy Who's Done A Onesome, Let Alone A Threesome.

The Reason I Hate Publicists Is Because I Think If We Got Rid Of Them Everything Would Be On Equal Footing.