People Always Ask Me, 'where Were You

I Love My Family. I Came Home The Other Days. My Brother's Passed-out On The Couch, Holding An Empty Bottle Of Sleeping Pills. So I Called The Paramedics, And They Pumped His Stomach, And I Think He's Learned His Lesson: You Know, Never To Take My Last Two Sleeping Pills.

My Mother Was Like A Sister To Me, Only We Didn't Have Sex Quite So Often.

Probably The Toughest Time In Anyone's Life Is When You Have To Murder A Loved One Because They're The Devil.

Girls Throw Their Panties On The Stage, But Rarely If Ever Do They Fit.

I Never Cheated On My Wife. I Took Seriously Those Vows Of Celibacy.