Obama Said He Went To Libya Because

You Haven't Lived Until You've Died In California

If You Were The Only Person Left On The Planet, I Would Have To Attack You. That's My Job.

A Political Satirist's Job Is To Draw Blood. I'm Not So Much Interested In Politics As I Am In Overthrowing The Government.

What Happens In Vegas, Stays In Vegas - Except The Drone.

Washington Couldn't Tell A Lie, Nixon Couldn't Tell The Truth, And Reagan Couldn't Tell The Difference.