Number One Way Life Would Be Different

Herman Cain Was Unaware That China Is A Nuclear Power. And I Said To Myself, 'hey, Herman, How About Making An Unwanted Advance On A History Book?'

When I Stopped Smoking Cigars It Was The Biggest Mistake I Made In My Life. So My Resolution For 98 Is Im Going To Start Smoking Cigars Again. I Gave Them Up About A Year And A Half Ago, And I Now Realize That It May Have Been My One Last Fun, Interesting Thing To Do.

The World's Oldest Woman Passed Away At 116. They Keep Dying. I Think That Title May Be Cursed.

There Is So Much Oil Now In The Gulf Of Mexico, And You Can Thank The Folks Of British Petroleum For This, So Much Oil In The Gulf, You Can Now Park On It.

They're Talking About Putting A Woman On The $20 Bill. And Hillary Said, 'i'm Available.'