Never Be Less Interesting Than Your Refrigerator

I Like To Go To Concerts Because I Love To See My Favorite Band Through The Phone Of The Asshole Who's Standing In Front Of Me.

Most Stick People Are Black.

If You Want To Feel Less Sexy Put Scotch Tape On Your Nipples.

I Used To Play Sports. Then I Realized You Can Buy Trophies. Now I Am Good At Everything.

A Wednesday With No Rain Is A Dry Hump Day.