My Son's An Idiot. He Sprained His

We Lived In A Neighborhood That Was Too Rich For Us. When I Was Young, I Had To Deliver Groceries To The Homes Of The Kids I Went To School With. I Had To Go To The Back Doors To Make The Deliveries. It Was Embarrassing. That Was One Thing Out Of A Hundred.

When I Go To A Nude Beach, I Always Take A Ruler, Just In Case I Have To Prove Something.

It Was The Same Thing In The Army, No Respect. They Gave Me A Uniform That Glowed In The Dark.

I Asked My Wife, 'is There Somebody Else?' She Said, 'there Must Be.'

My Sex Life Is Terrible; My Wife Put A Mirror Over The Dog's Bed. Actually She Did Put A Mirror Over Our Bed. She Says She Likes To Watch Herself Laugh.