My Favorite Part Of Going To A

When My Girlfriend Cooks Dinner, I'm Happy To Do The Dishes. Because I Make Her Wash Dishes When I Take Her To A Restaurant.

I Don't Get Back As Much As I'd Like To, So I Don't Have A Lot Of Close Ties [pittsburgh], But I'll Bleed Black And Gold Until I Die.

In A Late-night Monologue, It's Not Just About Being Funny; You Have To Come Off As Knowledgeable. You Have To Cultivate A Persona Of Trust And Intelligence And Likeability.

This Past Christmas, I Told My Girlfriend For Months In Advance That All I Wanted Was An Xbox. That's It. Beginning And End Of List, Xbox. You Know What She Got Me? A Homemade Frame With A Picture Of Us From Our First Date Together. Which Was Fine. Because I Got Her An Xbox.

I Didn't Care About The Backlash. I Think The Reason It Was So Severe Was Because They Didn't Know Anything About Me In New Zealand. If I Had Made Jokes About A Shark Attack In The Us, No One Would Have Cared.