Moving On Is A Gift You Give

I Wish I Could Tell You It Gets Better. It Doesn't Get Better. You Get Better.

I Think We All In Comedi Business, Especially When We Reach A Certain Age, Are Divas Up To A Point. I Love When A Limousine Comes For Me, I Can't Lie About That. I Love When You Go To A Restaurant And They Say, "come This Way, Miss Rivers," And You Get A Good Table. I Love All That, The Perks That Come With The Business.

Comedy Is Truth. We Should Not Apologize For It.

I'm A Double Bagger. Not Only Does My Husband Put A Bag Over My Face When We're Making Love, But He Also Puts A Bag Over His Head In Case Mine Falls Off.

With Age Comes Wisdom. You Don't Need Big Boobs To Be Feminine. Look At Liberace.