Looking 50 Is Great, If You're 60.

Why Should I Cook For My Husband? So He Can Tell A Hooker I Make A Delicious Cake?

Victoria Beckham Is So Nasty, Why Doesn't She Just Go Home?! Her Dresses Are Beautiful, But I Don't Care What She Does. She's Mean To All The People Around Her. She's Too Short To Be A Diva. We All Use The Same Hairdressers, Make-up Artists, Limo-drivers And Greeters At The Airports In La And Nobody Has Anything Nice To Say About Her. They Say She's Rude. She Can't Always Just Be Having A Bad Day.

Dogs Are Easier To Love Than People; They're Certainly More Dependable. Once They Love You, That's It. A True Friend In Life Is A Dog.

My Sex Life Has Gone From Bad To Pathetic. My G Spot Stands For Godforsaken.

I've Learned To Have Absolutely No Regrets About Any Jokes I've Ever Done.