Let No Man's Deathbed Be A Futon.

When People Show Me Pictures Of Their Kids, It's Okay. But When I Give Them A Picture Of Me, To Show To Their Kids, I'm Weird. What Kind Of One Way Street Is That?

Don't Talk To Strangers. Sure, Unless You Want To Meet Anyone Ever.

I Think It's Cool When An Ex-girlfriend Becomes An Xl Girlfriend.

A Couple Weeks Ago I Was On The Street And I Saw An Ugly Pregnant Lady, And I Just Thought, 'good For You.'

To Make Even Fewer Friends Try Talking About Politics As Much As You Talk About Yourself.