Let No Man's Deathbed Be A Futon.

Right Now Someone Out There Is Struggling And Starting To Panic Because They Can't Get Out Of A Tempurpedic Bed.

I Always Wanted To Do A Movie, Because I Love The Movies. They Give You A Chance To Have An Intimacy With Your Audience That Is Different From Stand Up. With Movies, You Can Bring The Audience In With A Close Up, And Emote In A Different Way.

When I Stub My Toe It's Like I Pressed A Button That Plays All The Curse Words I Know.

Yes" Actually Means "no" 100% Of The Time, When The Question Is "can I Give You Some Advice?

My Friend Has Hand Soap That Smells Like Coconut. It's Nice. Unless Your Hands Are Dirty From Coconuts.