I've Always Been Fascinated By Dark Subjects,

I Think Some People Just Don't Know That Much About Comedy. It Would Be Like A Person Who Didn't Know Anything About Football Thinking All Offensive Linemen Are The Same.

I Don't Have Much Racial Stuff In My Act. And No One's Ever Really Threatened Me To My Face. Threats On The Internet Don't Bother Me So Much.

I Want To Marry The Kind Of Girl That Walks Out Of An Abortion Clinic With A Lollipop.

Donald, I'm Not Sure If You're Even Aware Of This, But The Only Difference Between You And Michael Douglas From The Movie, Wall Street, Is That No One's Going To Be Sad When You Get Cancer.

In A Late-night Monologue, It's Not Just About Being Funny; You Have To Come Off As Knowledgeable. You Have To Cultivate A Persona Of Trust And Intelligence And Likeability.