It's Good To Be Here. At 98,

I Get Up Every Morning And Read The Obituary Column. If My Name's Not There, I Eat Breakfast.

When We Played The Back End Of A Horse We Always Knew That If We Worked Hard And Did A Good Job We Could Become The Front End.

At My Age Flowers Scare Me.

I Drink Coffee With My Right Hand, And I Smoke With My Left. But I Talk With Both Hands.

You Know You're Getting Old When You Stoop To Tie Your Shoelaces And Wonder What Else You Could Do While You're Down There.