Isn't My Fur Stole Pitiful? How Unsuccessful

Right From The Start My Parents Had Left Me To Fend For Myself. Apparently Unaware That I Was A Kid, They Invariably Treated Me Like An Adult, Perhaps Because They Themselves Were No Spring Chickens.

I Have So Many Liver Spots, I Ought To Come With A Side Of Onions.

How Do You Know They're Growing Up? Well, The Bite Marks Are Higher.

My Body's In Such Bad Shape I Wear Prescription Underwear.

I'm The Only Woman Who Can Walk In Central Park At Night... And Reduce The Crime Rate.