In Our School You Were Searched For

My Mother Was Like A Sister To Me, Only We Didn't Have Sex Quite So Often.

I Go To Pick Up A Girl In A Bar. I Say Will You Go Home With Me? She Says I Don't Know, Do You Have Cable? I Say No, But The Rope Should Work Just Fine.

My Grandmother's Brain Was Dead, But Her Heart Was Still Beating. It Was The First Time We Ever Had A Democrat In The Family.

I Used To Be Scared Of Pretty Girls, Until One Confessed They're Just As Scared Of Me.

Christmas Seems To Start Earlier And Earlier Every Year. Like, This Time, It's On December 25th.