In Louisiana, President Bush Met With Over

There Are 300,000 New Jobs And Bush Said He's Confused, 'can I Take Credit For Good News That I Didn't Even Make Up?'

Tom Ridge Now Says We Don't Have To Run Out And Put Plastic Sheets All Over The House. Great, Tell That To My Dead Parakeet.

I Don't Want To Scare Anybody Here But We Just Received Word From Police That Howard Dean Is Loose And May Be Armed With A Microphone.

President Bush Spent Last Night Calling World Leaders To Support The War With Iraq And It Is Sad When The Most Powerful Man On Earth Is Yelling, 'i Know You're There, Pick Up, Pick Up.

People Here In Los Angeles Are Disgusted Now About A Sex Scandal Involving Arnold Schwarzenegger. Apparently For Seven Years, He Carried On A Sexual Relationship With His Own Wife.